this is where I want to be, with Kailee eating her first root beer float and loving every minuete of it .... why can't I have that, life would be so happy and lovely then.
Stress and IceCream
Life is so crazy right now. Its stressful and I can't think straight. The migraines have set in and Im eating motrin for lunch it feels like (given up on coffee, although the caffeine usually helps). I's torn in every which way I hate the stress I put myself in when I'm looking for a job, i think I'm not good enough for this job, don't have the experience for that one, and when in all reality the one job I want is to get to stay home with Kailee and play and watch her learn. But in the same world that would drive me crazy I know that I need adult inter action and on a regular and frequent basis .... only way I can stay sane. its just frustrating and I'm scared, scared of what I don't know and not so sure I will ever know. I always thought i was one for adventure and change ... but I'm starting to think that I am more a create of habit and have a tendency to buck change and want everything to stay the same ... aaahhhhh i don't really like this phase of my life, its too confusing and all up in the air ... i liked childhood, high school and college were all planned out then i hit the "real world" and feel like i'm flailing around like a fish out of water .... flipping and flopping trying to find the pool that i belong in. so where do i belong????
Posted by Jakki